‘I received the book Only One of Me a day after my husband passed away. My husband’s death was sudden for our family. We didn’t prepare and we didn’t have the chance to say our goodbyes. I was left with 3 kids, age 12, 8, and 1, all of us overwhelmed with shock and grief. The house was full of friends and family and yet none of us had meaningful words to offer the kids. But the book articulated all the things I couldn’t articulate myself. It allowed us to start the conversation.
The minute I read Only One Of Me for the first time, I decided to use it as a tool to speak with my kids: to say to them the words their father would have said if he was there – the words I wanted them to hear – the right words at the time I needed them the most, but didn’t have any of my own. My kids and I read it like a poem, again, and again, every evening. We had a little ceremony each night, when things finally got quiet. We sat in their beds, read the book and let it lead us to the conversations we needed but dreaded. The book allowed us to open a subject that was too difficult to handle. It allowed us a gentle shift from the daily routine of dinner, bath, school-discussions, to what we all had in mind all the time. We maintained this ceremony for a few weeks until we were able to let go and accept the unacceptable.
I also used to book with friends and wider family to express what we needed from them: how we would want them to be part of our life in this difficult time.
Thank you for this remarkable and precise gift. It helped me get through the darkest, most frightening first nights as a single mum.’